Stoner Schematics

“This category is about something that everyone is doing… we are doing it, you are doing it, everyone is making their own Stoner Schematics. Wait! You might be asking yourself, what in the hell is this… Stoner Schematic? Well I am glad that you subconsciously reached into your head and spat out a question such as this for us. Stoner Schematics are Stoner’s (‘hence the name’) Schematics (blueprints, instructions, whatever your vernacular…). It is what the Stoner creates, be it canabutter, some crazy rolling technique, or even just a great way to blow smoke… that is a Stoner Schematic.”——–> Got suggestions for schematics? E-mail Dignan

Sometimes we are in supply of dank, but we have nothing to actually smoke it out of. I mean, say you do not have enough to roll a blunt or a joint, or better yet, there are no open stores nearby at the time your drug dealer finally shows up to deliver the goods. If you have been in this situation, check out this step by step guide detailing how to make a pipe out of an apple using only a pen or small knife.

Materials

You will need the following items in order to transform a simple apple into a smoking device:

• An Apple
• A Hollowed Out Pen / Thin (Smoke Safe) Cylinder
• A Knife

Step 1 – Creating the Bowl

The first thing to do is to cut out what will become the bowl of the apple. Using a knife make a cone-shaped incision into the apple, the stem is a great location for this cut, as it is already concave.

Step 2 – Creating a Carb

Next using an empty pen tube or small knife punch a hole all the way through the apple that connects the bottom of the bowl.

Find the point in the middle of the pen or shaft that intersects with the bottom of the bowl, measure, mark it, and cut a triangle or rectangular hole capable of carrying smoke.

With the pen all the way through the apple you can see the pipe starting to form, one end of the pen will act as a stem to draw up the smoke, the other end will be the carb, while the hole cut in the apple is the bowl, or spot for the weed. If you prefer, you can put a screen in this location for the bowl, but I prefer the natural apple taste.

Step 3 – Lock and Load

After loading up the bowl, this apple pipe will give you a disposable piece with a carb, capable of being utilized repeatedly and able to be thrown away or disguised with a few well placed bites if the fuzz is onto you.

“High Times founded the Miss High Times contest, which synchronized women and weed to create a Stoner fueled fantasy without so much pageantry, and much more marijuana. This ingenious blend of natural occurrence surpasses the regular, monotonous, egocentric concept of beauty in exchange for a harmony between Girls and Grass. Therefore, this category will attempt to showcase that glorious union.”

Who is the best “That 70′s Show” Girl?

• Donna Pinciotti
• Jackie Burkhardt
• Laurie Forman

View Results

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Today at Stoner Schematics, we unveil a new, long-time-coming category called Girls and Grass. This new category will be a testament and ode to the women who thought it a great idea to take a photograph of themselves alongside some of the sticky icky, pot that is. Now some people may take this notion as some androcentric, misogynistic, patriarchal attempt to display the female body in a loose-leaf association with ganja, but I believe the entities in question are enhancing their beauty by accenting their features with exquisite and delectable buds rather than polluting it. What better place to start, than the girls from “That 70′s Show,” as we all know they are most definitely toking. Instead of me rambling on about Donna’s lovable hometown appeal, Jackie’s smooth refined features, and Laurie’s ability to attract anyone of the male sex, today we are going to do something different. Above, I have posted some pictures of the girls in question, and what I want you to do is to vote for who is the best “That 70′s Show” Girl.

“Everything around us is changing… laws, society, personal idiosyncrasies, as well as the realm that cannabis resides. Sometimes it is time to sit down the bowl and really focus on the issues… well then pick it back up because politics are stressful…”

Back in late 2010 we wrote an article on a young child who turned in their parents for smoking pot under the instruction of the D.A.R.E program. In that situation, the officers replied to the incident by saying “That’s what they’re told to do, to make us aware.” In some of the most recent scholarship by David J. Hanson, Ph.D., he notes that D.A.R.E has been used in up to 80% of the continental United States as well as within other countries to teach over 36 million children across the world “to just say no.” He declares D.A.R.E. to be a “counterproductive, program” that chews up over a billion dollars in US funds, even when such authorities as the U.S. General Accounting Office, the U.S. Surgeon General, the National Academy of Sciences, and the U.S. Department of Education have discovered the program to be an ineffective abomination of the political-legal system against drug abuse. In fact, Tana Dineen, a local Houston columnist, found that the D.A.R.E program had raised drug usage by 29% during its occupation instead of lowering it, and this is the state of affairs across the whole continental United States.

Pot is inter tangled within this discussion, as D.A.R.E. propagates an agenda which designates any drug as harmful, hazardous, and life-ending, when in fact cannabis has been proven to be one of the safest substances a person can consume. For this reason among others, Ayelet Waldman, author of the book Bad Mother, has made it her responsibility to reveal the blemishes related to the D.A.R.E. program in order to derive a new approach to teaching children about drug use. On June 16th at Books Inc. in San Francisco California, she gave a speech on what she named the Harm-Reduction Approach. This idea proposes teaching kids about the world, a landscape littered with drug use, in a way that distinguishes between what is truly harmful and what is not on a physiological basis. For Waldman, this means drawing a difference between drugs such as weed and methamphetamine or heroin, substances that deteriorate the human body over time and frequency of use. I applaud Waldman for attempting to restructure the pedagogical framework of drug education among youth as their perspective has a profound influence on drug laws as well as the social construction of stigmas related to certain drugs. Below I have posted an excerpt from the aforementioned speech she gave, so take a look and see if it is something you support, I know I do.

“Hippies and flower children of the 60′s would always describe one sick beat of any nature as being “Groovy” or “Far out”. We feel the same way. It doesn’t matter if it’s guitar, bass, violin, piano, ukulele, anything! This is the beats that intoxicate our brains, blow our minds, and really send us …well… Far out man.”
—-> Got suggestions for music? E-mail Dignan

Here is a video I have been meaning to post for awhile but have not had a chance to get to. The name of the song is “The Music Scene” by none other than the infamous DJ Blockhead (Anthony “Tony” Simon) who has worked with the likes of Cape, Hanger 18, and Aesop Rock to produce some of the most tantalizing tracks available. Hunter S. Thompson had Ralph Steadman to aesthetically express his gonzo journalism by putting texts such as the Rum Diary and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas into an image form.

In the same sense, Anthony Francisco Schepperd swivels the human psyche within the strands of Blockhead’s music in order to produce a piece of art that leaves one both understanding and completely awed by what is being rendered in front of them, much like Steadman’s portrayal of Gonzo. One writer, HappilyDayzed conceptualizes this work as “An animated mind melt into a post human New York where TV and animals rule.” While I believe that to be an adroit summarizing, I would delve to take one step further in attempting an explanation. Most of the time people use anthropomorphic terminology, a process of putting human characteristics within the confines of animal nature. Consider when people say, “That dog has such a personality, he is very humanistic.” I would venture to say that we exist as animals within an kingdom where our adaptability has made us experts of using ecological niches to their potential. In Schepperd’s video, the television rips and tears away at the human being who falls in folds to the ground after rising up to the top of the animal masses before him. This occasion symbolizes our rise to the top of the food chain just to be enslaved by televised popular culture where our emotions, feelings, aspirations, and beliefs are put on the back burner for the most recent episode of some poorly conceived smut. But that is just one take on it. I will leave you with the words of Willy Wonka, “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination, take a look and you’ll see into your imagination.”

“This category is about something that everyone is doing… we are doing it, you are doing it, everyone is making their own Stoner Schematics. Wait! You might be asking yourself, what in the hell is this… Stoner Schematic? Well I am glad that you subconsciously reached into your head and spat out a question such as this for us. Stoner Schematics are Stoner’s (‘hence the name’) Schematics (blueprints, instructions, whatever your vernacular…). It is what the Stoner creates, be it canabutter, some crazy rolling technique, or even just a great way to blow smoke… that is a Stoner Schematic.”
——–> Got suggestions for schematics? E-mail Dignan

Watch this image for 45 seconds and then avert your eyes to surrounding objects to see an effect. It is amazing how the perception of reality aided by something so subjective such as eye sight can seem complete and absolute, when, in all reality, our comprehension of reality is augmented daily by illusion and mere ignorance of object. After taking a mind-altering substance such as peyote, lsd, or mushrooms many proclaim that they are accepting of a more diverse selection of activities than prior to the experience. Simply, things are not as we see them, and we must always take a skeptical point of view to combat the lingering presence of underlying ulterior motive.