Mar
12

The Life of the Naturally Irrational

“It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (…and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds… this is Stoner Art.” ——–> Are you an artist? If so, send your pieces to Dignan

Naturally Irrational 9 - The Blinding Light on a Winding Path

Upon browsing one of the more recent collections of psychedelia inspired art on the subreddit, Baked Art, I stumbled across today’s submission (featured above) in Stoner Art by the artist under the alias, Naturally Irrational. Personally, I have entitled this illustration, “A Blinding Light on a Winding Path,” as I feel it sets the scene for the artist’s entire album, The Life of the Naturally Irrational. A shadowy blue figure, perhaps an autobiographic projection of the artist himself, stands facing the threshold of a winding green and white checkerboard walkway, which contorts and tangles around itself, finally dissipating into an indescribable and unforeseen alternate universe. From the distance, a blinding yellow light emanates from the end of the mysterious pathway piercing the face of the specter, who is drawn into the eerie emission like a tractor beam. The drawing has a sense of weightlessness, though the cylindrical setting gives the sketch motion, especially as the edges of the path express intensity through the utilization of heavy, dark directional strokes. For me, the light represents each of our unique hopes, dreams, and aspirations that can only be obtained through persistence in endeavors, resilience against distractions, and excellence in production. In a similar manner to the nameless figure, who takes the first step toward their destiny in this fortuitous journey known as life, we do not know if our fate is enlightenment, depravity, or some grey region in between. However, we cannot sit idly by as others venture down that winding path without us. We can be afraid no longer. We must act, for if not now, then when?

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Mar
10

The Carb Roach Holder

“This category is about something that everyone is doing… we are doing it, you are doing it, everyone is making their own Stoner Schematics. Wait! You might be asking yourself, what in the hell is this… Stoner Schematic? Well I am glad that you subconsciously reached into your head and spat out a question such as this for us. Stoner Schematics are Stoner’s (‘hence the name’) Schematics (blueprints, instructions, whatever your vernacular…). It is what the Stoner creates, be it cannabutter, some crazy rolling technique, or even just a great way to blow smoke… that is a Stoner Schematic.” ——–> Got suggestions for schematics? E-mail Dignan

bowl roach clip

Next time you are at the end of your joint and there are no reliable roach clips in sight, try this trick to create a makeshift roach holder out of the carburetor on your favorite bowl. First, check the amount left in the joint to verify if it is at the point that passing it around will result in someone burning their fingertips. Generally, one to two inches is a suitable length for a roach, but it really depends on the size of the original joint or blunt. Personally, I prefer to utilize rolling tips, when I have the chance, as they make it easy to approximate the amount of ganja left by simply squeezing the sides of the joint and measuring where the cannabis ends and the rolling tip begins. In fact, if the roller formulates a rolling tip long enough, he or she can eliminate the necessity for a roach. In essence, joints become capable of being smoked until the end without some self-induced inflaming injury occurring due to a dropped pass because the roach was hot. Nevertheless, after determining the joint to be short enough to qualify as a roach, simply start by positioning it inside the carb of a nearby bowl in a similar manner to the pictures above and below.

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Mar
07

Firefighter Up in Smoke

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

In the video above, as part of a segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kimmel points to an incident featured on the news in San Diego, where a couple of growers, who converted a garage into a grow operation, had inadvertently caused a house fire due to poor wiring. When firefighters arrived at the address, they discovered an elaborate setup containing multiple high pressure sodium grow lights, fresh marijuana stalks drying on lines from the ceiling, and several potted cannabis plants in the midst of their grow cycle scattered across the floor. One of the first firefighters on the scene had to be treated for smoke inhalation, which lead to a hilariously high situation, as some marijuana plants were burnt in the electrical fire. Personally, based on the look of pure joy on his face, I think the only “smoke inhalation” treatment he needed was a bag of Funyuns and a Blu-ray copy of The Big Lebowski. How awesome would it be to arrive at work to be pleasantly surprised by an unexpected, but company approved, smoke session? Assuredly, we all know at least one overly conservative coworker who could benefit from the effects of a swift and uplifting contact high. Below is my personal reinterpretation of the circumstances after the smoke cleared.

the fire truck

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Mar
05

Cannabis Strain Types

“Ever since the first human being gazed upon the magnificence that is marijuana, we have been infatuated with domesticating and reproducing the effects of natural propagation to yield higher amounts of cannabinoids. While planting a seed in the ground may seem easy at first, pH balances, nutrient regimens, watering schedules, light cycles, and other yield mitigating factors can actually create a convoluted, complex, and rather scientific endeavor. Therefore, Growing Green is a category dedicated to unraveling these tortuous obstacles to provide you with thriving and sprouting success as you proliferate pot.”

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Mar
03

The Academy Awards on Acid

“Psychedelia can be defined as a subculture of people who use hallucinogenic drugs, primarily psychedelics, in order to experience a distorted perception of space, time, and reality. According to Humphry Osmond, the originator of the term in 1957, psychedelia described psychoactive drugs in general. He recommended, “To fathom Hell or soar angelic, Just take a pinch of psychedelic.” With both of these characterizations, this category will peer into psychedelia to unwrap some substances and offer guidance as we all search for our undeniable inner selves.”

Matt Stone and Trey Parker on Acid

With the recent 86th Academy Awards coming to a close, we found it best to reminisce on the occasion by revisiting the 72nd Oscars in 2000, where “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker attended the event while tripping on acid, also known as LSD (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide), and wearing dresses resembling the ensembles of Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow from the year before. Essentially, Trey Parker was nominated for Best Original Song for their work on the masterpiece “Blame Canada,” in their zany and blasphemous blockbuster entitled, “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.” However, mere attendance was out of the question, as they used this approach to honor the Academy Awards with a big, “fuck you.” In the video below, borrowed from “The Making of South Park: 6 Days to Air,” this dynamic dyad explains the details of their experience.

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