Mar
23

Vin “Sour” Diesel

"It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (...and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds... this is Stoner Art." --------> Are you an artist? If so, send your pieces to Dignan
Vin Sour Diesel
After strolling up to the local gas station and procuring a couple of White Owl Cigarillos, one of my personal favorites when it comes to wraps, my friends and I proceeded to gut the cigars with a knife and replace the contents with cannabis. However, we first needed an expansive rolling surface, as emptying out a wrap can be messy, not to mention you do not want to lose any stray ganja during the replacement process. Recently, I had been ironically gifted a painting of Vin Diesel, so I figured it would make an appropriate assemblage. Upon slicing open the Cigarillo and dumping the innards upon the portrait, immediately, I was struck by the similarity of the tobacco to hair. Miraculously, a mundane visage of Vin Diesel magically transformed into a large-scale game of Wooly Willy, the children's game that allows you to manipulate metal shavings resembling hair with a magnetic wand to create various combinations. While to some it may seem like a gimmick, this activity lead to at least 20 minutes of hilarious amusement, as we changed his facial hair and style continuously. Below are some examples of our fuzzy face frenzy. In short, this game shall be dubbed Vin "Sour" Diesel to commemorate the discovery in the context of rolling a blunt. Grab some paintings or photographs from your house and utilize your blunt guts or ganja to make your own funny photos, then send them to Stoner Schematics and we will host them alongside these Vin "Sour" Diesel pictures.

The Druglord

Vin Sour Diesel hair and mustache

Groucho Marx

Vin Sour Diesel eyebrows and mustache

Galifianakis Style

Vin Sour Diesel beard

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Mar
10

The Carb Roach Holder

"This category is about something that everyone is doing... we are doing it, you are doing it, everyone is making their own Stoner Schematics. Wait! You might be asking yourself, what in the hell is this... Stoner Schematic? Well I am glad that you subconsciously reached into your head and spat out a question such as this for us. Stoner Schematics are Stoner's ('hence the name') Schematics (blueprints, instructions, whatever your vernacular...). It is what the Stoner creates, be it cannabutter, some crazy rolling technique, or even just a great way to blow smoke... that is a Stoner Schematic." --------> Got suggestions for schematics? E-mail Dignan
bowl roach clip
Next time you are at the end of your joint and there are no reliable roach clips in sight, try this trick to create a makeshift roach holder out of the carburetor on your favorite bowl. First, check the amount left in the joint to verify if it is at the point that passing it around will result in someone burning their fingertips. Generally, one to two inches is a suitable length for a roach, but it really depends on the size of the original joint or blunt. Personally, I prefer to utilize rolling tips, when I have the chance, as they make it easy to approximate the amount of ganja left by simply squeezing the sides of the joint and measuring where the cannabis ends and the rolling tip begins. In fact, if the roller formulates a rolling tip long enough, he or she can eliminate the necessity for a roach. In essence, joints become capable of being smoked until the end without some self-induced inflaming injury occurring due to a dropped pass because the roach was hot. Nevertheless, after determining the joint to be short enough to qualify as a roach, simply start by positioning it inside the carb of a nearby bowl in a similar manner to the pictures above and below.

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Feb
18

The Shotgun

"The utmost lacking feature of the smoking community is a written and understood set of guidelines to adhere to while participating in any circle. We compile these tips, tricks, techniques, rules, regulations, specifications, and guidelines into a category known as: Potetiquette, which is as the name implies: 'Pot' - 'Etiquette'. This category is meant to attempt to unify these instructions, so that every Stoner may start with a pre-conception of the underlying ideals in order to be able to augment them accordingly to their liking."
thick blunt
So, you and your acquaintances have just rolled a massively thick blunt together, but before you keep passing it around the circle until it becomes a roach, consider doling out some shotguns in your next sesh. The shotgun, executed in a variety of ways, is one of the only two-person smoking maneuvers available. I have heard some people say they find it difficult to get high on a blunt, maybe because they are not holding the smoke long enough (around 5 seconds) or they are not taking a big enough hit because of how harsh it can get, but give them a shotgun and they will never complain about that again. Not only is the shotgun smooth, but because of its method of delivery it allows you to take a much larger hit than would be possible otherwise. In fact, I have some cohorts who prefer shotguns to straight smoking in general. Certainly, give a shotgun once and you will have made a friend for life.

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Feb
10

Favorite Smoking Method

"Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (...sometimes)."

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Mar
15

Roll the Windows Up

"Hippies and flower children of the 60's would always describe one sick beat of any nature as being "Groovy" or "Far out". We feel the same way. It doesn't matter if it's guitar, bass, violin, piano, ukulele, anything! This is the beats that intoxicate our brains, blow our minds, and really send us ...well... Far out man." ----> Got suggestions for music? E-mail Pistachio or E-mail Dignan
Nipsey Hussle roll the windows up
Roll the Windows Up, smoke them blunts, make a front and come to the hunt. We will be riding high on the smoke that you toke, it's no joke this dope that will blow your mind in a fine dine of mean green. It is this supreme hit that won't miss bliss, a fist that can kiss brevity into creativity. Fan out this plan to see a free imagination in extrapolation from the damnation that is this nation. Little freestyle, but that is nothing in comparison to Nipsey Hussle. I mean this guy is straight out streets of LA, an original gangster, whose feature with The Slauson Boyz & K-Young in this video Roll the Windows Up is something that I could bounce to any day.

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