Feb
17

Gardening with Snoop Dogg

"Ever since the first human being gazed upon the magnificence that is marijuana, we have been infatuated with domesticating and reproducing the effects of natural propagation to yield higher amounts of cannabinoids. While planting a seed in the ground may seem easy at first, pH balances, nutrient regimens, watering schedules, light cycles, and other yield mitigating factors can actually create a convoluted, complex, and rather scientific endeavor. Therefore, Growing Green is a category dedicated to unraveling these tortuous obstacles to provide you with thriving and sprouting success as you proliferate pot."
snoop smoking
Today is a special day for Stoner Schematics as we unveil the new category, Growing Green. As the description above attempts to explain, Growing Green will be a category that will dedicate itself to demystifying growing marijuana for the most novel abecedarian. While many of the future articles will specifically focus on growing techniques, maintaining adequate conditions, and purchasing necessary products for propagation, some posts in this category, as with the first one, will simply aim to get the discussion around growing going, as it is still somewhat taboo. In order to demonstrate this concept, check out the video below on Snoop Lion's, Snoop Dogg at the time, visit to Cardiff, the capital of Wales, to meet Ian Neale the Guinness World Record holder of the world's largest Swede, or rutabaga, at 85.5 pounds.
While Ian Neale may seem like a jolly old fella who enjoys meeting Snoop Dogg backstage for his first smoke session ever, he is in fact a master of his craft. In a recent interview with the Wales News Service, Neale revealed that he has been growing vegetables for over 30 years, beginning with a competition with his friend over who could grow the biggest onion. He has grown 52 pound celery, 51.5 pound beetroot, and he has held multiple titles including world record for heaviest turnip. Growing takes great dedication, and Neale epitomizes the hard-working farmer, despite his dominance of the size market, by continuing to work over 70 hours per week. For him, the job is never over, and there is always another vegetable show right around the corner. Whether it is rutabagas or cannabis, growing vegetables or herbs can be a difficult task that takes years of practice, persistence, and patience to become an adept practitioner. Therefore, we should all start small, but start now to get some experience, and before too long, we will overgrow the world.

Tags: , , , , , ,  

Nov
16

Rolling Green Dr

"It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (...and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds... this is Stoner Art."
rollinggreen

Why yes I am rolling some green...

Tags: , ,  

Oct
27

“High” School

"Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (...sometimes)."
weedhigh
Man, I wish my high school would have had a cool name like "Weed High." It's probably the best named high school that I've come across. I might actually have some school pride with a name like that. This glorious school is located in Weed, California and currently has 199 students. Anyways, it seems like the Weed High Cougars play some soccer. I wonder who would win in a match against the Pennsylvania stoners...
weedsoccer
Imagine that, they have green jerseys.

Tags: , , ,  

Oct
12

Your Highness

"Half-baked is probably one if not the greatest Stoner movies of all time and we believe this category is best summed up by the great, talented, and verbose Jon Stewart. Enhancement Smoker (Jon Stewart): "Did you ever see Scent of a Woman?" Scarface: "Yup." Enhancement Smoker: "You ever seen Scent of a Woman... on weed? That's the way to see it. It's just wacked." That is what this is, high movies or shows. Not necessarily ratings or anything like that, but movies or shows... well ... high."
------> Got suggestions for movies or shows? E-mail Pistachio or E-mail Dignan
So David Gordon Green, the director of a little movie you know as Pineapple Express, is at it again with his new movie slated for around April 8th, 2011. This movie will have one dank list of actors including: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman and Justin Theroux. I guess you could pretty much look at it as, Pineapple Express meets Monty Python meets Robin Hood... minus the tights. IMDB described it as being, "A fantasy movie about an arrogant, lazy prince and his more heroic brother who must complete a quest in order to save their father's kingdom." Pretty simple, but from what I am hearing ranging from straight original raunchy humor to Natalie Portman's bare chest... I am pretty excited. Unfortunately there is not an official trailer out for it yet, so alas here are some pics.
official picture

franco sword

natalie horse riding

natalie bow
For the full synopsis of the movie or more information visit IMDB on "Your Highness"

Tags: , , , ,  

Oct
03

Request Green…

"It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (...and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds... this is Stoner Art."

request green on line

Man, I sat on that line for like an hour and nobody came with any green...
<blockquote><span style="color: #949494;">"Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (...sometimes)."</span></blockquote>

Tags: ,