Mar
07

Firefighter Up in Smoke

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

In the video above, as part of a segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kimmel points to an incident featured on the news in San Diego, where a couple of growers, who converted a garage into a grow operation, had inadvertently caused a house fire due to poor wiring. When firefighters arrived at the address, they discovered an elaborate setup containing multiple high pressure sodium grow lights, fresh marijuana stalks drying on lines from the ceiling, and several potted cannabis plants in the midst of their grow cycle scattered across the floor. One of the first firefighters on the scene had to be treated for smoke inhalation, which lead to a hilariously high situation, as some marijuana plants were burnt in the electrical fire. Personally, based on the look of pure joy on his face, I think the only “smoke inhalation” treatment he needed was a bag of Funyuns and a Blu-ray copy of The Big Lebowski. How awesome would it be to arrive at work to be pleasantly surprised by an unexpected, but company approved, smoke session? Assuredly, we all know at least one overly conservative coworker who could benefit from the effects of a swift and uplifting contact high. Below is my personal reinterpretation of the circumstances after the smoke cleared.

the fire truck

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Nov
13

60s Police Drug Training

“Half-baked is probably one if not the greatest Stoner movies of all time and we believe this category is best summed up by the great, talented, and verbose Jon Stewart.
Enhancement Smoker (Jon Stewart): “Did you ever see Scent of a Woman?”
Scarface: “Yup.”
Enhancement Smoker: “You ever seen Scent of a Woman… on weed? That’s the way to see it. It’s just wacked.”
That is what this is, high movies or shows. Not necessarily ratings or anything like that, but movies or shows… well … high.”
——> Got suggestions for movies or shows? E-mail Pistachio or E-mail Dignan

Here we have a police training video from the 1960’s. “Use Your Eyes” was their motto apparently, but they seem to have been misinformed about some things… You be the judge. Also I posted a picture below of a cop from the 60’s, I just think he looks high.

60s cop

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Oct
30

Registration Comic

“It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (…and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds… this is Stoner Art.”

True Story, happened a couple days ago to me.

fuu registration

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Oct
28

High Giraffe

“It is a widely accepted fact that cannabis (…and other great hallucinogens) have been linked numerous times to allowing people everywhere; from writers, to artists, and even amongst the most advent doodlers as being a smooth gateway to better and more insightful pieces of art. So take your brush of choice and blow some minds… this is Stoner Art.”

Here is some more art submitted by one of our faithful readers. I like to call it High Giraffe. The patterns on it are intriguing as it goes with the theme of the giraffe. Most definitely a unique piece, I know I have never seen anything like it. How do i get to this twilight zone? If you like pictures like this, check out other trippy pictures.

high giraffe

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Oct
16

The Supah Ray

“Sir Smoke-a-Lot’s Selections is a new category dedicated to the creative cultivators who generate strains that are simply out of this world. Sir Smoke-a-Lot smokes only the best, therefore we should follow his example by looking for the best the world has to offer. Just as he went from Samson’s kind bud to the experimental medicinal Smiley Face, we will vacillate from popularized mainstream strains to medical grade to the finest homegrown around in search of true dank.”

So, recently I have seen several types and qualities of weed roll through my friends possessions, but the one that stood out most was: The Supah Ray. Now, you can’t just go up to any regular ol’ Joe and find the Supah Ray, you have to do some searching. This bud is generic, in my opinion, to all ghettos, but it is hard to locate because most people in the ghetto do not obtain high grade (instead schwag or at best, mids). The Supah Ray is not named something from normal cannabis nomenclature, it just comes as it is because it delivers, it really does not need a name. But… we have dubbed it, the Supah Ray.

lighter and bud

The Supah Ray smokes smooth and with a hint of a fruity taste with a mixture of that skunk that we all like. Also, it is never completely amber/purple nor is it intensely green, it is right in between. Almost a “Goldilocks” of sorts. Before The Supah Ray, I was skeptical about going to certain sources located in the less attractive parts of the city, but in all reality… they have the best shit by far. I literally smoke one bowl of this stuff and I am faced for several hours, something I am not used to with the regular heads I see. The actual plant material does not crackle nor show any of the signs of being over-fertilized which is surprising since the average nug is about the size of the first picture shown above. The high, by far the best, a mix between the head and body (some reference this as a “surfer’s high”).

closeup bud

If you are in need and you are not unwilling to drop the real dough for a truly sticky hybrid like The Supah Ray, then you need to roll on down to the ghetto my friends. (I took a picture from the view of the microscope, enjoy).

trichomes

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