Mar
17

Cannabis and Beer – A Joint Effort

“After a smoking session, the Stoner becomes susceptible to an insatiable desire, a carnivorous wave of necessity for sustenance known as the munchies. Whether it is cereal, Funyuns, Nutella, brownies, or ice cream, any food item, nestled in the fridge or cabinet, can fall a vulnerable victim to marijuana induced munchies. This category will offer some new tastes before they are all eaten.” ——–> E-mail Dignan your favorite munchies.

red hook joint effort beer

On Saint Patrick’s Day, people celebrate by gorging themselves upon copious amounts of dyed-green bar beer until they are groggy with inebriation. Usually, I tend to settle down with a different type of green from the same taxonomic family, but this St. Patrick’s Day is special due to the introduction of Joint Effort, a brand new ale brewed with hemp seeds. Created by a joint effort between Redhook Breweries and Hilliard’s Beer, respectively based out of the legalized cities of Woodinville and Seattle, Washington, Joint Effort offers a dank and earthy craft beer aimed specifically at connoisseurs of both cannabis and beer. Prior to now, beer has been utilized as a palate cleanser, food compliment, and a contrast to taste for meats, desserts, and cheeses, but Redhook introduces the capability of marrying the multifarious piquant flavors of cannabis with the bitter body of a delicious beer with Joint Effort. Yesterday, a frosty Becks and a bowl was good enough, but now the bar has been set at a higher standard.

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Apr
14

Funyun Fiasco

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

If anyone watches the food network (as I do regularly), then you probably have come across a show by the name of Unwrapped as narrated by Marc Summers. This show delves into all of your munchies favorites, old and new from Abba Zabas to Mary Janes and even my personal favorite, Funyuns. These airy, garlic, oniony snacks always have me coming back for more, not to mention if I leave the bag around a group of Stoners… The thing is, I do not even really care for onions. Check out the video of how they are made from Unwrapped. Has anyone seen/tried the Wasabi or Flamin Hot flavored Funyuns? ***Huge Funyun not for Retail Consumption***

flamin funyuns

wasabi funyuns

huge funyun

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Apr
12

Chronic Jerky

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

chronic jerky

I don’t know about you, but I love beef jerky. Its the perfect snack on the road, and contains loads of protein to keep you going. Now imagine my surprise when I found out that there is a place that sells beef jerky named after different types of cannabis. Among their offered flavors are: Original Crypto, Black Peppered Kush, Spicy Red Hair, Sticki-Icki Teriyaki, Smoked Out Hickory, and Sweet and Spicy Thai Stick. I love spicy jerky, so I ordered myself some of the Spicy Red Hair. The site doesn’t exactly specify how much jerky you get for their price of $7.99, but at that price point, I’m guessing that its a quarter pound of jerky. With shipping and handling at $2.95, the total for one order of jerky weighs in at $10.94. When I get my order, I’ll be sure to taste test it for you guys and report back to you if its worth it or not. Check out the site here.

original crypto
black peppered kush
spicy red hair
stiki iki teriyaki
smoked out hickory
thai stick

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Nov
04

Great Ad Placement

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

munchies

They really know how to reach their target market lol. Although, if they moved it a little closer to the Funyuns I think they would get better results. Yummm…Funyuns. Always my favorite munchy of choice.

funyuns

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Sep
28

Stoner Schematics

“Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (…sometimes).”

So the first question you must be asking yourself is, “Why the hell am I here?”…. and I can understand that.

Jim Breuer from Half-baked stoned as hell.

But! Before you leave, please hear us out!

This is Stoner Schematics. That is exactly what we intend it to be. Stoner’s…. Schematics.

The staff here are merely guides in the whole experience, but basically we are here to post some interesting shit. We realize you might not like all of it, but that’s ok… because unlike other places that you have (probably) exited much faster we will keep you entertained. But how? We got that covered too.

Godly Ganja aka superdank

Here we will accept media from all Stoners alike, and we will lavish you (the user of Stoner Schematics) with the creations of your peers and with ganja, cannabis, weed, pot, girls, music, gadgets, bongs, pipes, seeds, grow-ops, psychedlics, trippy shit, whales?, munchies, cereal, DIY, or wtfever we (or you) find funny during your personal sesh.

Princess Saphron's: his little kingdom

So sit back, chill for a bit, and roll a bit… we are here to blow your mind.

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