Mar
28

Cool Caving

"This category is about something that everyone is doing... we are doing it, you are doing it, everyone is making their own Stoner Schematics. Wait! You might be asking yourself, what in the hell is this... Stoner Schematic? Well I am glad that you subconsciously reached into your head and spat out a question such as this for us. Stoner Schematics are Stoner's ('hence the name') Schematics (blueprints, instructions, whatever your vernacular...). It is what the Stoner creates, be it cannabutter, some crazy rolling technique, or even just a great way to blow smoke... that is a Stoner Schematic." --------> Got suggestions for schematics? E-mail Dignan
hey hey hey hey Chappelle
smoke weed everyday Chappelle
While the weather is still frigid with snow occasionally falling from time to time, instead of "hot boxing" try this new fad, which shall be dubbed "cool caving." Rather than hopping into a car, tent, or closet to fill the tight and enclosed space from wall to wall with thick marijuana smoke from a blunt or joint, Stoners from all around the colder sections of the globe flip the age-old activity by digging small, Stoner, snow caves, some more intricate than others, within embankments of accumulated snow. In fact, I first heard of this invention on February 11, 2014, when a group of students, from Saginaw Valley State University in Michigan, were caught smoking cannabis within the confines of an extensive snow cave by a local police officer. In that situation, they basically lead the officer there by looking suspicious and mysteriously disappearing behind a snow bank; however, if they had not made this mistake, it would have been a legitimate setup.
Cool Caving2
Not only does the snow cave offer a discrete and unexposed area to partake in a daily session, but it is cold, keeping snacks and beverages for munchies at the perfect temperature. Moreover, by cool caving, you can dictate the size of the smoking chamber using your own discretion. If you want a capacious powwow style room for multiple people, then increase the diameter of the sphere, but if you are looking for a more intimate location, keep it small, yet secure. For example, the person in the picture above is actually inside a larger room within a snow cave, not the outside as it may seem, while the person pictured below is closer to the threshold of what amounts to about 15 to 20 feet worth of snow cave. To obtain the maximum amount of smoke per square meter build your snow cave at an upward angle, this way smoke does not roll out, thus attracting curious passerbys. In addition, conceal the entryway in some way to keep people from randomly sticking their head into your serious business. The last thing you need is an uninvited guest like the guys in the story above. Maybe make an artificial layer of snow at the entrance or cover it with some leaves or sticks to avoid arousing suspicion. Lastly, be careful. You are making tunnels out of, what seems like, harmless snow, but people have been buried underneath avalanches never to be seen again. Therefore, be sure to make your snow cave sturdy before you pile people in for a sesh.
Cool Caving
Go ahead! If you live in a cold region, go outside, create your own snow caves, and you will be cool caving in no time. If you make a snow cave or have made one in the past, send your pictures to Stoner Schematics and we will host them on the website alongside the others.

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Mar
19

Old Man Been Smoking Weed Since 1936

"Why make a category for everything? The world lives on the brink of destruction, people are as apathetic as ever, and chronological whimsical forms of the structure are the things that are keeping us down. Fuck the system, Fuck the structure, and BY GOD here at Stoner Schematics we say FUCK Categories (...sometimes)."
Brett Froomer 98 year old man smoking weed
In the short film below called, "A Stoner's Life" by Brett Froomer in 2011, a 98-year-old man says he has been smoking weed since 1936. In fact, he titles himself the "oldest pot smoker in America." Am I surprised to see another old person who smokes marijuana habitually? No. Even Tommy Chong at the ripe old age of 75 continues to thrive despite his diagnosis of prostate cancer in 2012, which he addressed with an effective hemp oil treatment. If all of those archaic smear campaigns had any validity, he would have croaked long ago. Cannabis is good for arthritis, it keeps the mood light, and it rejuvenates mundane experiences. Trust me, if I make it to the age of 98, I am going to need a bowl to put up with life's monotony. However, there are a few downsides for septuagenarians and above, as marijuana tends to increase heart rate and blood pressure, making some seniors susceptible to heart attacks. Before Jack Herer's death in 2010 at the age of 70, he experienced multiple heart attacks, and one cannot dismiss the fact that marijuana might have been related in his heart complications. Although, people are multifarious beings, so there could have been a number of heterogeneous factors at play in his situation. In addition, the pharmaceutical industry corrals older people with piles of prescriptions, so the effect of marijuana on those drugs could be drawn into question as well. Personally, I find daily pill regimens to be abhorred, but we sadly live in a society that frowns upon natural holistic remedies and healthy living habits.

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May
16

Cornering

Today we are introducing a new category that envelops some of the activities that are characteristic of normal smoking circles. This is "Potetiquette".
"The utmost lacking feature of the smoking community is a written and understood set of guidelines to adhere to while participating in any circle. We compile these tips, tricks, techniques, rules, regulations, specifications, and guidelines into a category known as: Potetiquette, which is as the name implies: 'Pot' - 'Etiquette'. This category is meant to attempt to unify these instructions, so that every Stoner may start with a pre-conception of the underlying ideals in order to be able to augment them accordingly to their liking."
As the title shows, this article will be pertaining to the action of cornering a bowl (sorry to let down anyone who thought this would be about steering during driving). Cornering is the process of applying flame to a smoking apparatus in such a manner as to not 'torch' the whole of cannabis in the bowl. This action allows one to avoid wasting any precious herb while still preserving the bowl for everyone in a large circle. One of the worst features of smoking with others is that if they are unaware of this standard, then they will proceed to apply flame to the whole mound, which inevitably leaves the rest of the group with the charred remains of what used to be a glistening gathering of ganja gagged into a grotesque grave of greed. This reason explicitly underscores why we must introduce the activity of cornering to the multitudes.
cornering
Above is an animated image showing this process known as cornering. Notice that the stoner takes utmost caution in diligently going around the bowl in order to display that equal distribution of 'greens'. Below is a picture exemplifying this process of cutting up a bowl into different sections in which the bowl is gradually degraded to smaller and smaller sections containing high yielding amounts of fresh cannabis. To follow this process, simply take your lighter, spark it, slowly apply the tip of the flame at a 90 degree angle or perpendicular to your pipe, then allow your inhale to pull enough heat to ignite a portion of the weed, stop using the lighter, take the rest of your hit and pass quickly as to carry on a cherry. The point of this is to use lower amounts of butane in lighting bowls, increase the amount of hits in a rotation, and to save the taste of the weed itself (as burnt materials are not nearly as tasty as fresh ganja).
cornering example
To exemplify this process the above picture shows the process of cornering over a period of time through the much effective art of Microsoft Paint. To prove this point more thoroughly though, (last picture) I took a fine instrument and dug out the top layer of the bowl that had already been cornered. Notice the green still existent at the bottom of the bowl, unaffected by the administration of the flame.
Cornering End Result
Cornering is a process that every circle should adapt, the benefits are blatantly obvious and who wants to waste their weed? Not I.

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